Does Meditation Stress You Out?

You know how sometimes you feel like you're the only one struggling to do something that's good for you, something your doctor, dentist, psychologist tells you to do?  Like flossing your teeth after every meal, or drinking a gallon of water every day, or getting up at the break of dawn (or earlier) to run five miles.  So you don't talk about it, right? You just pretend you do all of these things because that's what everyone else does, and you don't want to look like an unhealthy slacker. Sound familiar?

Well here's some breaking news:  nobody does all of the things we're supposed to do to be healthy.  If we did we'd blind each other with our glaringly white teeth, and the part of the day when we weren't running we'd be in the bathroom ridding ourselves of all the excess water.  We'd have no time for anything else.  But even though I think we all recognize, at least on some level, that it's impossible to do everything right all of the time, we still feel bad about it.  Take, for example, meditating.

Meditation is getting a lot of coverage these days, and everyone seems to be talking about it.  I've been struggling with some health issues these past few months, requiring many trips to various health practitioners, and without a doubt (and regardless of the diagnosis given, which varies wildly from doctor to doctor), the one thing they've all been consistent about is telling me to meditate.  I don't disagree that meditation can have health benefits -- I've read the research and know first-hand that I feel better, mentally and physically, when I meditate regularly. But I think we need to be careful about latching on to meditation as the "silver bullet" for whatever ails you.  In fact, according to a recent article in the Boston Globe, The Stress of Not Meditating, telling someone they need to meditate can actually cause them stress.
 

"Nothing’s more stressful than hearing about the advantages of something you’re not doing."

So, if you are one of the many who wants to be "calm and happy and live in the now" but who also has a mile-long list of things you can accomplish with that extra 15 minutes, you are not alone.  If you are feeling stressed because you know you should meditate, your doctor, yoga teacher, or best friend has told you that you need to do it, take heart in knowing that even the person recommending it to you probably doesn't do it, at least not regularly (although they might not admit it). 

So should you give up on the idea entirely?  Well, that's up to you.  But before you do, consider this:

1. Meditation is only one form of mindfulness practice.  If sitting on a cushion for thirty minutes a day isn't something you want to do, there are other options.  You can breathe deeply and mindfully at stop lights, or spend the first 10 minutes of your lunch time eating slowly and quietly.  The idea is to incorporate small mindful moments into activities you do regularly; anything that brings on a relaxation response counts.
2. You may already do things that approximate meditation.  Many activities like gardening, hiking, or playing music bring our brains close to a meditative state. In short, if you lose track of time doing a favorite activity (i.e. reach a state of "flow"), you're receiving some of the same physiological benefits as you would get through meditating on a cushion.
3. There are no rules. There are many types of meditation, so you should explore the options and choose something that works for you.  Also, starting slowly is perfectly acceptable -- if five minutes on the cushion (or chair or bed) is all you can or want to do, just do that.  The meditation police will never know and, even if they did, they don't write tickets.

So whether you decide to jump on the meditation bandwagon or not, I think the  healthiest choice any of us can make is to be honest with ourselves and everyone else about what is important to us and what we value.  We are free to make our own choices, free to decide what works for us, and also free to release the guilt, shame, and fear about all the rest.  "Seek the middle path" as Buddha advised -- it's all about balance, not perfection.

Your Body and Brain on Meditation

Meditation  

May 2013,  Week 2

So by now hopefully you’ve experienced it – the peace and centering that comes from taking a few quiet moments to yourself.  If not, maybe you're still not sure what all of the buzz is about, or maybe you're unconvinced that making time for meditation is worth your time and effort. (If you missed last week's MindPooling post introducing meditation and mindfulness, you can find it here, along with some helpful links to help you get started at the end of the post).

If you're in the "not certain" group, the only way to know for sure is to try a few meditation sessions or develop some mindfulness practices and see for yourself (see the link to guided meditations at the end of the post "Do You Meditate?"). Trying to describe meditation is like trying to describe crème brûlée (I'm something of a fanatic about this dessert) to someone who has never tasted it:  I can list the ingredients, tell you how it was prepared, and compare the taste to another food, but you can't really know what it is like until you try it for yourself.

If you are in the "unconvinced" group, or maybe you're convinced but you're having difficulty making meditation part of your regular routine, looking at the science behind meditation may help.  You have likely heard about (and maybe experienced) the reduction in stress and anxiety that comes with meditation, but did you also know that a regular practice can have physical impacts on your body?  For example, researchers are finding that meditation can:

1. Reduce your blood pressure,
2. Change the structure of your brain, increasing the connections (and size) of the areas responsible for decision making, attention, and memory,
3. Affect how your genes are expressed,
4. Decrease the occurrences of stress-related illness, and 
5. Slow down the aging process.

Researchers have also found that you don't have to be a Buddhist monk to gain these benefits -- meditating just 30 minutes a day is all it takes!

If you have tried meditation but are still having difficulty making it part of your routine, here are a couple of additional tips:

1. Schedule it. All healthy behaviors need to be scheduled until they become a habit. Ideally you should schedule it at the same time every day, and connect it to something you already do every day (like after you brush your teeth).
2. Work up to it.  Thirty or forty minutes of meditation will be hard if you're just starting out.  Start with just 5-10 minute sessions, and add 5 minutes a week.
3. Start with guided meditations.  A guided meditation, especially one geared for beginners, will give you the assurance that you're "doing it right".  It will take a few sessions to get the hang of it, so be patient with yourself.
4. Make peace with restlessness.  It's completely normal for everyone, even experienced meditators, to feel restless while they are trying to sit still.  One way to help with this is to do some gentle stretching beforehand (yoga is actually a physical preparation for meditation).  When you do start feeling restless (because it will happen sooner or later!), don't react -- see if you can just notice what restlessness feels like in your body.  Some people have found that this is particularly challenging for them, so do your best to keep working with it, and keep in mind that restlessness has never killed anyone, so you'll be fine!

Activities for Meditation, Week 2

This week's activities have been selected to help you:

1. Understand how meditation can affect your health and well-being,
2. Be more aware of how your thoughts affect your emotions and actions,
3. Experience how focusing on one concept like gratefulness can affect you.

 

When you have one minute...

Learn more details about how meditation affects your body and mind:  Mindfulness Meditation Could Lower Cortisol

When you have 15 minutes... 

Spend some time noticing how your thoughts affect your emotions, and how your emotions affect your actions.  If you'd like to take it a step further, experiment with the idea of "not believing everything you think" and choose an opposite thought to one you just had. Does it change how you feel?

"The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love,
Born out of compassion for all human beings.
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become." - Saying of the Buddha

When you have 20 minutes or more...

Try a gratitude meditation!  Many people report that gratitude meditations have a strong influence on how their body feels, and helps them meet the challenges of the day with more compassion and strength.  Here's a description of the process as provided by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels in "The Tools":

1. "Start by silently stating to yourself specific things in your life you're grateful for, particularly items you'd normally take for granted.  Go slowly so you really feel the gratefulness for each item."
2. "After about thirty seconds, stop thinking and focus on the physical sensation of gratefulness.  You'll feel it coming directly from your heart."
3. "As this energy emanates from your heart, your chest will soften and open. In this state you will feel an overwhelming presence approach you, filled with the power of infinite giving."

And don't forget.... Please share your experiences and thoughts with others on the "Teach Your Own" page on Facebook here:  Teach Your Own.   You can "Like" the page if you're interested in receiving the next MindPooling posts.  The final two meditation posts this month will discuss mindfulness and meditation for kids!

Note:  If you'd like to learn more about MindPooling, check out the MindPooling Overview.

January's Life Lessons

February is the least favorite month of the year for many people, with the holidays well behind us, spring and summer vacations too far out in front of us, and the typical cold, gray weather hanging heavily.  But for me, at least this year, I'm very glad to turn the page on January and welcome February in. January was filled with an unexpected series of life lessons for me this year, and I need these slow days of February as time to rest, recover, and reflect. 

I started the year feeling physically not all that great, although I was optimistic and full of plans.  Unfortunately, my body decided it needed more of my attention and my health went downhill quickly -- I found myself without the energy or mental clarity to do even the simplest of activities:  prepare a meal for my family, run errands, read or write.  For several years now I have been struggling with what I thought was a not-so-serious condition that compromised my immune system, but ever-increasing symptoms toward the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 drove me to seek out more information and help from other sources in the healthcare community.  Now, after several weeks and many appointments with MDs, naturopaths, and nurse practitioners, I am on the road to understanding what is going on (a little more serious than what I originally thought) and am working with a practitioner who I trust to help me figure out the rest.  

So, the good news is that over the past few days I've begun to feel slightly better, and even though (or really, because) I still have to spend most of my day sitting, my mind is clear enough for the first time in weeks to reflect on what I've been going through and begin to understand that there are some important life lessons to be gleaned from my recent experience.  The first, and most important, is that nobody cares about my health more than I do (nor should they!).  Yes, my family cares and my doctors care, but I'm the one who needs to push, and question, and drive, and push some more -- nobody else can do that for me.  My husband certainly tries, and deserves a medal for how well he has supported me, taken care of me, and even filled in for me when I was too weak or tired to do so, but the ultimate responsibility for my health rests with me.  Knowing what's normal for my body, educating myself, asking lots of questions (even when they are discouraged), and not allowing someone's strong opinions to sway me from what I feel to be true or helpful are really important.  

Which brings me to the next of January's life lessons:  healthy skepticism is, well, healthy.  If someone's opinions or recommendations don't seem right, even if they are an "expert" (actually, especially if they claim to be an expert!), you need to be skeptical, and take the time to do your own research, get other opinions, and ask as many questions as you need to.  I consulted five people from different areas of healthcare over the course of six weeks, and each one, without fail, told me emphatically why their diagnosis and recommendations were right, and why the other opinions I had gathered (and asked them about) were wrong!  Had I gone against my own judgment and intuition, and just stopped with any of these first assessments, I would be much worse off right now, and risking further and more serious health issues.  It turns out that each of them had a piece of the puzzle, but the person who is now treating me was able to see all of the pieces together (and identified a few others, too).

And the third life lesson of the month?  We are not built to live in a constant state of stress. Our bodies and minds are designed to help us survive short periods of fight or flight situations -- to kill the bear, or run from the tiger.  We are not designed for the non-stop, worry-filled lifestyles we all have.  This is not news to me, as it probably isn't to you -- magazine articles and other sources of health information are always warning about the negative impacts of stress.  And even though I've really tried to be aware of this and make healthier choices, I still have more to do, I guess, because the severity of my current health issues are a direct result of too much stress.  So, as I continue to recover, I've decided it's time for a whole new operating system. What does that mean?  It means living differently, from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed; it means basing my thoughts and behavior on a new and improved set of beliefs and expectations.  I'm thinking about it as "reformatting my hard drive" -- loading a whole new operating system whose functionality and features I will consciously choose. There's no doubt this will require a lot of soul-searching and tough choices, but for me it's not an option, and I'm actually (kind of) looking forward to it because I know I will feel better, and I also know that my kids will benefit as well. 

As I've mentioned in other posts, both of my boys are very emotionally aware, and I've noticed how my emotional states impact theirs, both positively and negatively.  When I am calm and centered, they are much more relaxed and happy; when I am rushing around or frazzled from doing too many things, they become more emotional or quiet.  Whoever first described children as sponges was entirely correct, and I tend to forget how much of an impact the example my husband and I set has on them.  I'm hoping that the changes I make now result in our days moving at a slower, more peaceful pace (which I can already see happening), but I'm also taking a longer-term perspective.  The choices I make and tools I employ will hopefully set an example that the boys will remember when they are adults and making lifestyle choices for themselves and their families.  So, even though the weather outside is damp and gray this month, it's perfectly-timed for me -- I have lots of thinking, and even more resting, to do!

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.

~  Hippocrates (c.460 - 400 BC)